FOND OBJECT IN THREE, TWO, ONE...

In three days, some magic is gonna happen. For us, it's already been happening, brewing behind the scenes. The scenes y'all can see, anyway. This is our dream AND our reality, and in three days, we get to share it with you. As I said to Rachel last night as we were all feverishly painting, hammering, stocking, filing, pricing, pig wrangling, and organizing, "RACHEL! WE'RE LIVING THE DREAM!" The sarcasm stood no chance against the fact that, yes indeed, we are. How fortunate. And how lucky for you! I'm serious, every day I see new records Jeff is putting out and sorting; I see new art appear like magic; speakers get hung and bins get painted and Poni built her own fitting room her own self... Excited is an understatement. I'm so proud of my friends and so damned lucky to be doing this. And I literally cannot wait to show it to you. In the eventual Ettes documentary ("Who?" "The Ettes, they were a band that some people kind of knew about?" "What?" "Yeah two chicks, one dude, three piece, they played like Lollapalooza and were on Jimmy Fallon once, the singer was the last of the Sympathy girls, etc." "The what?" It's gonna be a great doc...) the opening of Fond Object Records will show us beaming with pride at our epic nerditude and tenacity, our wild imaginations going "hell yeah" and high-fiving each other, and just the genuine happiness that comes with the right things, the right people, coming together in the right place at the right time. So thanks for that.

See you there,

Coco Motion
Mistress of Mayhem
Fond Object Records

THE PITS ARE ALRIGHT ETC.

If this jam passes, pits will be euthanized and/or their owners will be forced to move. That shit is CRAY. Join me in fighting this. None of us should accept living in a place that would even consider allowing this. Dog Holocaust? No thank you. 

Love from Coco (and Maxine and Lenore and Dottie and Jarvis and Kona and Sexy Dexy and all the others, bless)

Here is a letter written by Shelley Madison, which we can all send to:

sen.reginald.tate@capitol.tn.gov;
rep.brenda..gilmore@capitol.tn.gov;
rep.ron.lollar@capitol.tn.gov; rep.curtis.halford@capitol.tn.gov; rep.andy.holt@capitol.tn.gov; rep.judd.matheny@capitol.tn.gov; rep.billy.spivey@capitol.tn.gov; rep.john.tidwell@capitol.tn.gov; 
rep.ron.travis@capitol.tn.gov
sen.brian.kelsey@capitol.tn.gov;sen.doug.overbey@capitol.tn.gov; sen.stacey.campfield@capitol.tn.gov; sen.mike.bell@capitol.tn.gov; sen.lowe.finney@capitol.tn.gov; sen.ophelia.ford@capitol.tn.gov; sen.todd.gardenhire@capitol.tn.gov; sen.mark.green@capitol.tn.gov;sen.john.stevens@capitol.tn.gov

Dear Senators,
I am writing you today to respectfully ask that you oppose Senate Bill 865.

Yesterday an amendment was added to that bill which would regulate the ownership of and automatically label “pit bulls” as vicious dogs at the state level.

Breed discriminatory ordinances promote a false sense of security in communities and actually put their constituents at risk to the truly dangerous dogs not designated as such because they don’t meet the physical characteristics established by breed discriminatory laws.

A dog’s appearance or breed has no bearing on the risk or danger that any dog poses to a community, and strongly enforced breed-neutral dangerous dog laws that target irresponsible and reckless dog owners benefit the entire community – people and animals alike.

As a taxpayer, homeowner, and responsible owner of three dogs that would be considered “pit bulls”, I strongly oppose this Bill and ask you to please consider this info and voice your opposition as well.

Sincerely,
Shelley Madison
Resident, 37216

Today, a lot of good, fun, talented, friendly, close knit and compassionate folks are taking their gutted hearts to a service for our recently departed underground mayor, Ben Todd. I don't want to talk about it too much -- mostly because I don't know what to say -- so I will say very little. 

As someone who has lost countless friends and loved ones to suicide, I can't say my heart isn't hardened to this particular kind of devastating loss. I just want to say one thing: if you are ever hurting, please talk to someone. Anyone. Don't think you're being a drag. Don't think you're being a pussy. Don't think "it doesn't matter". We all hurt, some more than others, sometimes more deeply and desperately than at other times. It always helps (and makes the hurting hurt less) to talk to the people you care about, because they care about you. 

Nashville will not be the same without Ben Todd, and that is not okay. For memorial thoughts and updates, visit Facebook or Nashville Cream; they'll keep you posted on how we are all supposed to carry on his legacy. It would have been better if he were here to carry it on himself. 

And as generic as it may sound, the Suicide Hotline is no joke. It has saved my life more than once. In that deafening silent hour of staring blindly at the wall; in that frenzied and fearful panic of pain; in the catatonic and suffocating lonelieness; in that slurring, drooling "fuck it all" moment... pick up the phone. Toll free. 24 hours a day. 7 days a week. Locally, here in Nashville: 615-726-0125. Nationally: 1-800-784-2433 and 1-800-273-8255. Or if you're like me and talk better with your fingers, chat (hours can vary) at www.IMAlive.com and www.CrisisChat.org. They won't tell your parents. They won't tell your employers. They are there to help, many of them because they KNOW what you're going through.

Care for yourselves, and for each other. Our hearts are all together. Mine's here for you, my e-mail is cococommotion@gmail.com. 

Coco

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAXINE!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAXINE!

Once upon a time there was a girl who loved dogs. She adopted them and fostered them and even volunteered at a shelter where she hung out with dogs that were way bigger than her.

Then she decided it was time for a dog of her own, and with the help of her grandma Maxine, she found a new friend (and named her Maxine, after her grandma).

Timid at first, Maxine soon warmed up to her hilarious life in a house full of girls (and dogs) in Gainesville, Florida. 

She made friends with her adopted brother, Jarvis!

She... observed strange visitor dogs!

She and her best friend Dexy went on windy road trips!

She frolicked in the ocean!

Maxine was a very happy Floridian pup.

But as with many rock and rollers, she had that insatiable lust for the road, and had to answer the call of the wild unknown.  So she got in the van, and went in search of America... and herself.

 And yes, that included a long stint in Hollywood...

But there was so much freedom!  To roam!

To sit in stumps!

To pull shapes on the farm in Indiana!

To wear sunglasses!

Then one day, a few years back, she found herself in Nashville, Tennessee.  And she decided to stay.

Where today we celebrate her 12th birthday.  HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAXINE!

Who of course -- wonderful person she is -- shares her new toys (Ritchie Blackmore and Blue Meanie) with her best sister friend, Lenore.

We love you Maxine the Jellybean, in all your glory, for all the joy you bring the world, and the fact you talk, make rational decisions, and allow us to put sunglasses on you pretty much every time we're mobile.  To my best ever friend and confidante ("... and if you threw a party, invited everyone you knew, you would see the biggest gift would be from me/Poni and the card inside would say...")

IT WOULD CARRY OFF OBJECTS OF WHICH IT GREW FOND...

Hey y'all!  Sorry it's been a minute (or kind of almost a year?) since my last update.  It's been a weird chunk of time.  METAMORPHASIS!  SATURN RETURN!  WHATEVER!  Like it or not, I'm back to regularly update this blog, damnit!  So check the pic, that's me (thanks Rachel!) in the window of our new store, Fond Object.  We've been batting around one-liners to try and succinctly describe what Fond Object IS.  For one, if you look on the back of the WICKED WILL LP or the TEETH single, you will see that Fond Object is the Ettes' record label.  It's new, it's our own, we will be releasing our music and other music we like henceforth in perpetuity ad nauseum.  But Fond Object THE STORE is so much more!  It is a shop to showcase FIT-grad Poni's latest designs (www.blackbymariasilver.com).  It is a gallery and display space for artist Rachel Briggs (www.rachelbriggs.com).  It is a record player store and repair shop.  It's a place to come sit in the awesome and massive fenced back yard to watch those JANUS FILMS my awesome friends got me for my 30th.  And square footage-wise -- and this is so exciting -- it is a record store.  More on where the stock is coming from later, but suffice it to say our amazing friend El Jefe Del Guapo is trucking up over 20,000 of his records to stock this rad store, and I DON'T KNOW ANYBODY WITH BETTER TASTE THAN HIM.  Y'all don't even KNOW!  So that's what Fond Object is!  The A/C and lights come on tomorrow.  Saturday is paint day.  We'll open when we're ready.  So get ready.

It's kind of almost Halloween!!!

Coco, Mistress of Mayhem, Fond Object Records

PS - IT IS A MAGIC FACTORY.  MIND YOUR HEAD!

COCO'S PRESBO MATZO BALL SOUP!

Us country folk have a saying. It goes like this: "I'm hungry." So when the call comes in, you better work. And what better to make in these encroaching chilly months than a good ol' homemade soup? And considering it's almost Hanukkah, why not make matzo ball soup? Because you're not Jewsh? Neither am I! But I happen to be very close to some Jewshes here in Nashville, who miss they mamas and need this classic homey fare. So please allow me to introduce myself...

I was raised in central Florida (you could find me digging holes or climbing trees) and western North Carolina (same thing) but my parents weren't big on cooking. They worked, damnit! And my mom came from such '50s recipe notecards such as "Grandma Gladys' Yeast Biscuits" and "Grandma Max's Persimmon Pudding". I once saw her and my Aunt Jean Ann get into a very heated argument about just how to make these things; they'd both been left separate recipe cards! IT WAS LIKE A SOAP OPERA!!!

My sisters and I, however, are recipe-be-damned culinary adventurers, and for those of you who take offense to my Presbo/southernization of this classic Jewish soup: deal. We southerners make do with what we've got. And we add butter. What.*

My off-the-cuff and potentially delicious recipe is based on what I remember Jem's mom making one time, New York delis, and what's in my fridge at the moment. Feel free to get creative. Lord knows I do.

COCO'S PRESBO MATZO BALL SOUP

FOR THE MATZO BALLS (no egg as binder)
2-3 cups of matzo meal
1/4 cup tipo 00 flour (no, not really Jewishly appropriate, but seemingly effective)
1/2 cup vegan sour cream 3 cups hot water (as needed)
2 tablespoons ground mustard seed
1 tablespoon onion powder
1 tablespoon garlic powder
salt
pepper

Mix ingredients in a large mixing bowl using a wooden spoon, until you achieve a thick (not slippy goopy) consistency. It should be sticky, but not dry. Add more warm water if it's too dry; a bit more matzo meal if it's too wet.

Start to roll the balls in your hands (haha) choosing whatever size works best for you (I like a bit larger than golf balls, or your general sleeping Pokemon) and place them on a plate. You can use oil to keep your hands from sticking to the matzo batter, or not. Up to you.

Cover plate with plastic wrap and let rest in the fridge for however long you can. An hour is fine.

FOR THE BROTH
1 large yellow onion, thinly sliced
4 big ol' stalks of celery, chopped
3 big ol' carrots, chopped
6 garlic cloves, sliced
1/2 a cabbage, chopped
Big handful of kale
Sliced green onions (optional)
Olive oil
salt
pepper
dill (fresh or dried, you know dill, go crazy if you want)
1 veggie bouillon cube, dissolved in a cup of hot water

Douse (I mean DOUSE) the bottom of a stock pot with olive oil and bring up to medium heat. Chuck in the sliced onions and a bit of salt until they begin to break down (emotionally) then add the carrots and celery. Take your time; let the veggies become one!

Once the veggies have cooked down and become somewhat translucent, add the sliced garlic. After a few minutes, add the cabbage. Remember: you don't want the veggies to get any sensual color on them from the heat. You are GRANDMA cooking these things, not making a sweet-ass-sweet pasta sauce. Totally different world.

Once the cabbage is cooked in with the other vegetables, add the veggie stock mixture. Yes, maybe this is veggie stock overkill, but I'm of the mindset that anything worth doing is worth deliciously overdoing, so whatevs. Add as much water as you need, making sure the vegetable flavors stay strong. STAY STRONG!

What you do now is taste the mofo, and if it tastes just super strongly of vegetables, GOOD! Remove from heat, and you're ready to make a (now) quick matzo ball soup!

SOUP TIME!

Add as much liquid as will accommodate the matzo balls, and bring to a boil. Add the kale. As the soup boils, add the matzo balls in, one by one, until they become buoyant and float to the top, all crowded like. You can also chuck in some farfalle or potatoes at this point, or just serve with lots of fresh dill, parsley, and lurb.

Put so much freshly ground black pepper in there it'll make you wanna smack yo mama (or make my mom want to smack us both, every time I cook for her, "Damn it Lindsay Jane Hames, there is way too much black pepper in here!!!") But it's worth it. In fact, ALL country dishes are worth it, when it comes to overdosing on black pepper. Holla Arnold's!!

Hope you like. Happy hols!

Cokes

PS - Just had the official test; the High Priest said YUP.

* When it comes to veganizing a recipe, y'all veegs know how to do that. This recipe doesn't use eggs or dairy, but if something offends you, sort it out. You're welcome.

YAY!

No more scowling. Today is a happy day! Because I've got my Audrey Horne wig and I feel fine!

Like that Beatles song,


Coco